More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
