Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
