I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
