Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
