GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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