I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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