is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
