:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He passed out mid-signature
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
