Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
