real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
