How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
