You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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