there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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