id be glad to
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
