My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
