After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
