Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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