Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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