Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
