There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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