The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
