Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
