so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
