I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
