my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
