did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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