Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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