I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
