coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
