We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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