I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
