I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
