3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
