I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
