His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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