im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
