So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
