maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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