he puts the penis in happiness.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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