they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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