She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
