My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
