Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
