i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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