I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
