I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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