i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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