just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You ruined the universe
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
