I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
