I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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