Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i've created a new STD.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
