i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
